Friday, February 24, 2012

Froggy Went A'Courtin

Jewels’ Gems

By Jewels Devine

Oh, my darlings, I cannot wait to share with you a recent topic of discussion at an annual New Year’s Day brunch. You see, every year my girlfriends and I get together on New Year’s Day to analyze the year that just ended and plan the year ahead. It is during this time that almost anything can be discussed… and usually is!

One of my dear friends, Tiffany, was sharing her desire for a romantic Valentine’s Day. The kicker was that she was hoping her husband of 10 years would do all of the planning. Not wanting to be the one to burst Tiff’s bubble, I didn’t remind her of darling Harvey’s failures in past years. However, I will share them with you!

During their first year of wedded bliss, Harvey presented Tiffany with a cookbook. I must admit that the dear probably needed it―and still does. Even so, that year, after drying Tiffany’s tears, I had to agree that a cookbook was a bummer of a gift.

The years ticked by and the Valentine’s gifts were no more romantic than the cookbook. The fifth year Harvey was positive that he had the perfect gift for Tiffany. He put a lot of thought into what would show his wife that he truly cared for her. The gift? A flask with a heart on it. Why? Well, apparently, Tiffany always complained of getting cold when Harvey dragged her to his beloved Bobcat football games. This time Harvey was outraged that Tiffany did not appreciate his thoughtfulness. Tiff, on the other hand, used the flask as a football and make a field goal upside Harvey’s head. After his release from the hospital, Harvey realized the error of his ways.

Year eight rolled around and Harvey presented her with a sexy negligee and edible underwear. Oh, the poor dear, he did not give Tiffany enough credit to realize that the gift truly was for his benefit―not hers. Not to mention how uncomfortable and sticky the undergarment was sure to be! According to Tiffany, the negligee still remains in the box under the bed. I will leave it to your imagination what she did with the edibles! Another strikeout for ole’ Harvey.

Last year’s gift doesn’t even bear mentioning… so I won’t. This year, with the encouragement of her nearest and dearest friends, Tiffany is going to take matters into her own hands. In my opinion, it should have happened years ago. She is “borrowing” Harvey’s credit card to purchase gifts for herself. Harvey has often stated that nothing is too good for his beloved wife. Well, this year Tiff is putting his wallet where his mouth is! Let’s just say he might be in for a little surprise when he receives his credit card bill! She is planning a day at the spa followed by a catered Valentine’s dinner. That’s not all, my darlings! There will be flowers, chocolates and bubbly… and a diamond tennis bracelet wrapped and placed on the table by her plate! Yes, this promises to be the most romantic year for Tiffany yet!

As for Harvey, well Tiffany has plans for him too! This is a pretty nutty gift… and that is why we helped her pick it. We all put a lot of thought into just the right gift. After much research, we discovered “The Frog to a Prince”. The gift is a green frog in a four-inch plastic cylinder. When you fill it with water, the frog begins to disappear before your very eyes. When he is totally gone, a tiny prince stands in his place. That’s not all. The magic is only half done; when the cylinder is refilled with clear water, another transformation takes place. Over the next couple of days, the tiny prince will grow into a large prince.

You are probably wondering what makes this such a perfect gift for Harvey. Well, hang on to you hats; I am about to tell you. It is like a warning shot over his bald little head. The warning: Tiffany has the right to find her prince and be whisked away to happiness. He can either transform into the prince Tiff needs him to be, or she will start looking at “frogs” until she finds her perfect prince! After all, my dears, don’t they all start out as frogs until a good woman gently molds them into a prince? (In reality, the gentle part is completely optional.)

Normally, darlings, I am not one to gossip―and surely not in print. These things have a way of coming back to bite you. In my defense, I wouldn’t say this is necessarily gossip. Actually, I would consider it a community service. After all, who is going to steer these poor delusional men in the right gift-giving direction if not little ole’ me?

Ta Ta,

Jewels is from Manhattan... Manhattan, Montana, that is. She is a self-proclaimed expert on fashion, manners, jewelry, and just about anything else. She shares her straightforward, honest opinion on topics that are important to an eastern socialite. Be prepared to chuckle!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

"Poring" Over the Possibilities

I am not a person to make a decision quickly when faced with too many options. In today's world it is both a blessing and curse when you've made a decision that something must be done and begin researching the available solutions to your problem. The options are so many it's often mind boggling.

Skin care is no different. Whether you're in the grocery store or a high end department store the options are limitless and all claim to be the answer to your problem. Dry skin, oily skin, clogged pores, age spots, acne...the list goes on. When it comes to skin care, Emily Myers is the Montana Woman go-to gal. In the February edition of her column, Living Beautifully, Emily addresses the idea of using facial oils - it would seem counter-intuitive to apply oil to one's face when most of us take daily measures to prevent oily skin, but Emily educates us on the benefits of facial oils and points us to some of her favorites.

Thank you, Emily, for helping us to take some of the guess work out of our already time consuming enough beauty regimen!

Monday, February 13, 2012

Only the Facts!

There are a number of interesting and fun new columns in Montana Woman. Gullible's Travels is one of my personal favorites, as I'm always ready for a good laugh or a "Wow!" For instance, did you know....

"The Montana Yogo Sapphire is the only North American gem to be included in the Crown Jewels of England"?

I do love a pretty Yogo, but this fact makes it somewhat more appealing, wouldn't you say?

We know that Montana women are very adventurous, but if you're planning any fishing trips in the near future - take heed. Here's something I learned in our January edition:

"In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all."


Have a look, I'm almost certain you'll learn something new AND have a chuckle.

Monday, February 6, 2012

True Romance

Seventy two years is a very long time, wouldn't you say? Imagine spending, literally, an entire lifetime with your sweetheart. In the February issue you can read about Mike and Kay McCann in the Front Porch Hospitality column, written by Margie Johnson. An ode to true romance, their love story inspires us all and gives a glimpse of what it takes to make our own relationships so successful.

The February issue is on the stands now - be sure to get your copy! Also, check out our new business page, Montana Woman Magazine, on Facebook - "like" us and share us with your friends.

Sending everyone warm wishes for a February filled with love... and a little chocolate!